Jamie Angela Esmeyer

I stole most of this from Jamie but she put in words what i struggled to put in words.

My heart races when I think, only 27 more days until I get to see the most amazing person I have been able to share my life with for over 10 months. It’s amazing when I think about our first 7 months to our last 3 months, and just how much she and I have been able to grow together. It’s been a struggle, it’s been painful, there has been many tears(mostly on her part cuz im not a crier) and lots of nights that I wish that I could just be hanging out with her… watching a movie, or driving around , or star gazing on a mountain where there is nothing in sight but the very millions of twinkling stars above our heads… but we haven’t been able to and that is where I think we have really learned how to love one another. Where we have really learned what love is. Where we have learned how to really love when there can be no physical aspect of even seeing her in person.
When I had first left, I felt that I was losing 4 months of amazing memories with her, that I was losing 4 months of the best conversations with her, and I felt that I had lost my best friend for the next 4 months. Through these 4 months though we have grown and learned differences, similarities, and key aspects that have made our relationship amazing.
I am so awe struck of how God has worked these past months and so thankful of God's care and love for us to challenge us in our maturity with eachother and Him. Here is an amazing quote from Jamie.
"It wasn’t until the end of the first month of him being gone that I fully realized the situation that was upon me. This is how I see the situation: me in the driver’s seat and God is in back being a ‘back seat’ driver. He continues to try to help me and I continue to ignore Him and ‘drive’ my own way… taking the shortcuts, speeding around the obstacles and trying to find the destination or the answer as quickly as possible. I soon hear the loud siren and the see the flashing lights and I realized that the whole time God was trying to help me, I should have listened. By following and listening to Him, I could have saved myself a ticket and tons of confusion and tears. I had realized that, if I would have embraced God the way He intended me too, I could have not been ‘pulled over’ and would have saved I’m sure a ton of pain. So, while Daniel has been gone, I have been pulled over a bunch of times, in the end noticing a clear history of not embracing God to comfort me, to answer me, and to love me… and my focus was not on Him.
"When I began to see me embracing and focusing on things that only pull me away from God, Daniel began to see it. And Daniel, being the most amazing boyfriend he could be would challenge me to “focus”. Sometimes it would drive me crazy, but in the end it only made me feel so much stronger… because God uses Daniel to teach me things. God constantly uses Daniel in my life to challenge me." And God totally uses Jamie to challenge me. "He challenges me on the way I think and on how I use my brain and my heart. Something that I really admire about Daniel is how he never gives me the answer. No matter how frustrated I am, no matter how tired I am, and no matter how frazzled and upset I am, he refuses to give me the answer. And when Daniel can tell that I am getting upset, he says, “Jamie, you know the answer. You’re just thinking too hard.” He encourages me and reassures me that I am wise, I just can’t think so surfacey. And when I finally realize what God is teaching me, I feel that Daniel and I have grown stronger and wiser together." I did not put that to brag about myself but to brag about God and His amazing and unfailing love because I have embraced it so much more these past months.
In the last 3 months, I feel as if Jamie and I have learned more about each other now than we ever did our first 7 months of being together. It’s such a crazy thought. Our conversations are real and meaningful and each one I treasure every second that she is on the phone or Skype. I appreciate every smiley face, every text, letter, message, phone call, package, and picture sent to me. I appreciate every word that comes out of her mouth, and I feel like I listen to her a lot more and listen more to what He is trying to say to me through her. I am learning more and more to take the focus off myself and to put the focus totally and fully on God. I am so grateful for every ‘I love you’ that comes out of her mouth and I value it every time I see it or hear it from her.

God has given us these circumstances that have come with struggles to bring us both closer to Him, and I believe that we have become closer to our God. Are we finished? Never, there is always room to grow. But have we grown, more than ever. I couldn’t write in words or express to you how much I love Jamie. I have been blessed at such a young age to experience life with a woman who loves God and wants to live her life fulfilling His purpose to further the kingdom of God and to love me. She has such a beautiful heart that loves and cares for others.

Jamie, I love you with all that I am. I love you with as much as I humanly can. I thank you for the amount of love and patience you have for me. Thank you for supporting me and experiencing God’s love with me. Thank you for sharing an interest of serving God for the rest of our lives together. I appreciate your hard work- working, school, and making time for God and I. Thank you for being an amazing example of a woman who loves God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength. And thank you for being an image of Christ’s love. Please continue to challenge me. I look forward to each time I talk to you, because I know you will challenge me. I encourage you to keep your focus on Christ. I love you moa.

These last couple nights of beautiful conversation and these last months apart have totally reassured that I want to spend the rest of my life serving to fulfill God's purposes together.